My husband sent me this quote from twitter:

forgiveness tweet

forgiveness tweet

On one hand, it’s true. Yes, forgiving has a huge amount to do with letting go of pain and moving on and the heart. Yes, NOT forgiving can hold you back and trap you in bitterness and the past. I have a more respect than I can say for people who can genuinely let go of their pain and move on because I know how hard it is.

BUT… the other side of me is calling bullshit and maybe rolling it’s eyes a bit.

What if the past is a living, breathing human being who you have regular contact with?

Who gives you panic attacks? Makes you feel sick?

That is a lot more complicated. I am – like a lot of the damaged, I bet – not amazingly spiritual or mature or able to rise above such things completely. I’m trying. But yeah. I struggle. I’m also not sure forgiving is always the right answer. Maybe NOT forgiving, when a person is or was a source of danger, is a kind of white blood cell for your life. Attacking the source of pain. A form of protection. A kind of boundary. And maybe not forgiving, if you’re not stuck in the past – and I am not – is just fine. Isn’t it possible to NOT forgive and still move on?

 

Read more: Destrangement

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